Student Health & Development
Healthy Relationships are important to everyone. They take place between individuals as well as in groups.
Positive Self Esteem
Mutual/separate goals and interests
Equality: no one is the boss.
Before you feel good in a Relationship, you must feel good about yourself.
*accept yourself as you are, no one is perfect
*know what your strengths are
*take control of your life
*have a positive attitude
*feel good about the decisions you make
*talk openly about your feelings
*take responsibility for your feelings, thought and actions
*work at resolving conflict
*listen to your partner
*do not jump to conclusions, ask when you are not sure what was said.
*do not criticize, blame or ignore your partners ideas or beliefs.
If the relationship is one that might involve sex, don’t do it too soon. Make sure that both of you are ready for sex.
Sex should be guilt-free. If either of you is feeling uncomfortable, you should wait.
Sex should be something you can discuss. If you can’t talk about sex your not ready for it. Issues such as protecting each other, likes and dislikes, and what makes you comfortable need to be discussed.
Sex too early in a relationship can actually prevent intimacy. Sex set at an appropriate time can build intimacy and deepen a relationship.
-there is jealousy and distrust
-one person hangs on the other
-partners have an idealized image
-there is a high level of fear of losing the other
-relationship is often built on physical attraction
-one person is always giving more than receiving
-you depend on the relationship to make you feel important
-one person frequently breaks promises
-there is honesty, respect and trust
-there is mutual giving and receiving
-partners have a balanced interest in other areas of life besides the relationship
-both persons are individuals apart from the relationship
-you both enjoy your time together
-both people feel at ease with the other.
A relationship is unhealthy when it involves mean, disrespectful, controlling or abusive behaviour. Some people live in homes where this behaviour is normal. It’s not. They may not have learned how to treat others with kindness and respect or how to expect the same treatment. That person needs to work with a trained therapist before he or she is ready for a relationship.
You may feel sad for someone who’s been mistreated but it is not healthy to stay in a relationship that involves abusive behaviour of any kind.
A relationship that doesn’t work out has not been a waste of time or failure. Every relationship that you have teaches you something, and helps you grow as an individual.
-choose a safe location for the break-up
-be prepared for uncomfortable feelings, be clear, honest and compassionate
-avoid blaming and don’t walk out without an explanation, be respectful
-be Firm. Make the end Final
Tips to make breaking up easier:
*don’t keep living in the past
*express your thoughts to friends and family
*call old friends
*take care of yourself physically through rest, diet and exercise.
*put away mementos
*expect up days and down days
*postpone major decisions and avoid making big changes in your life.
*find new ways to enjoy the extra time and new freedom
Source: Healthy Relationships April 2006 Region of Waterloo, Public Health 115214-CD367